Nine. How did that happen? As I write we’ve just finished a lovely night together. Your dad is away with friends, and your little brother sleeps early. So, it was just you and me, eating nachos and watching a movie. All sorts of lovely.

You’re so grown up now. I see it on nights like tonight, where you can have a relatively mature conversation, and just enjoy hanging out. We are having more moments like that. In fact, if I really think on it, the moments of tension between us are less these days. That may be your age. It may also be just the product of my attention being split between two kids, and a general mellowness on my part is now necessity. Whatever the reason, it’s a change in our dynamic that I mostly enjoy. And you’re not too old for cuddles on the couch with your Mum. Every day, we still say ‘I love you’.

For all your grown ‘upness’, you’re still so little. You still sleep with ‘hard bunny’ every night. I go in to check on you most nights to see your face snuggled up against the ratty, smelly thing that I myself are now super attached to. You still play silly games with your friends – something that potentially divides you from some of your other peers who are so desperate to grow up. You seem to know that growing up is over-rated, and just enjoy being a kid.

Your latest obsession is your Nintendo. Given the choice you would play it all day, every day. It has me worried to be honest, but it’s also brought new moments of connection, and watching how animated you get talking about it is equally hilarious and wonderful.

You’re still obsessed with reading. We can’t keep up with your appetite for books. Academically, you’re actually doing incredibly well, but it’s reading and writing that you love the most – just like your mum and dad.

When you’re not being super competitive playing Nintendo, you are a nurturing, kind friend. You seem to have found your primary school tribe, and – at least for now – it seems to be going well. You still call A your best friend, which brings me so much joy given the two of you have known each other since you were in nappies. This year, you had her over for her first sleepover for your birthday. It’s a beautiful friendship. I only hope it continues until you’re meeting for a pre-assembly drink at the pub, just like your mummas!

If I were to reflect on a wish for you at the moment, it would just be for you to hold onto that spark, adventurousness and enthusiasm for life you’ve always had. As you get older, it’s harder to hold onto – and you can get lost in the need to appear to ‘not care’. But you so do. You always have. And I just hope that you can hold onto that spark that makes you you.

I am so very proud of you, and the person you’re growing up to be. You’re caring, thoughtful and loving. You are the absolute best big sister, full of patience and love. Sometimes you appoint yourself his carer, sometimes putting yourself between me and him to take on the role of mother. When it’s not driving me crazy, it’s actually super lovely and nurturing.

I feel as though this year has been a big year of settling for you. COVID is done, you’re used to having a sibling, and the constant ups and downs of female friendship groups seems to have abated (for now). And what I’m seeing come out of it is a quietly confident, smart, kind little girl, who is desperate for more responsibility (like walking to school solo) but is also happy just being kid, sitting on the floor and playing LEGO. There’s no rush to grow up my love. The whole world will be waiting for you when you’re ready. In the meantime, I’ll be here for the cuddles while you still have them.