Six-months in we still haven’t formally introduced ourselves to our back-fence neighbours. We know a little about them though. They have a very cute 18-month-old little girl and a backyard that is, it seems, an entertainer’s paradise. Said backyard is almost right against little missy’s window – it may be the reason “double glazing” is next on the new-house list.

Do I begrudge them? A little, but it’s not what you think. I don’t begrudge their drunken fun on a Saturday night. I begrudge the following:

  • Their ability to have drunken fun and manage an 18-month-old child – clearly these people are younger than me and have the hangover bounce-back of my youth, OK of someone else’s youth.
  • Their lives aren’t dictated by their little princess – if we were entertaining while little missy tried to sleep the moment she heard us sip from a glass of wine all hell would break lose – she has her mumma’s keen ability to sense when a good drop is about to be drunk!
  • The fact that they clearly have friends without kids. Who are happy to see them. On a Saturday night – I’m not gonna lie, dear friends, if I had no kids and it was a Saturday night, spending the night hanging out at your house while your kids slept would not be the top of my agenda, you might get a brunch out of me.
  • Their insistence on still having a life – our lives belong to our tiny dictator now. Resistance is futile.
  • Having a child who is still developing their language skills – none of this, “Stay downstairs!” “I need a drink of water!” “I want to go to the toilet!” “It’s too noisy!” “Put the fan on!” “Leave the door open!” on repeat for them. No, no, they just get to put the kid to bed and kick back with friends.

Then again, their kid is one year behind ours. We will have 12 months of our lives back before they get theirs – that happens, right? Don’t shatter my illusions.

Next up: Nine things my two-year-old does