Alright grandparents, settle down, don’t get too excited. This is mostly hypothetical.

But … you know, people keep asking us. Of our mothers group there are just two of us who haven’t moved onto baby number two. I find myself melting when I smell the head of one of the newborns that have entered our numbers. I yearn for those wonderful days of long walks with a pram, and breastfeeding (yes, who would have thought I’d miss that!), and the occasional cheeky wine with friends at lunchtime, just to truly be a cliche.

Related: Dear boss, I’m pregnant

I honestly don’t know where all these friends of mine found the time and energy to procreate. Honestly, getting pregnant when you have a toddler requires energy and logistics that I’m just not sure we are capable of.

I also can’t help but think that getting pregnant before your child turns two is smart. You haven’t yet experienced the true hell of toddler tantrums. After a day of loud singing, erratic screaming and the occasional throwing of self on the floor (both missy and me!) I have to say the idea of doing that with a newborn hanging off my boob is not the most beautiful of pictures.

And, yes, a baby is wonderful. They sleep a lot (well, mine did – that’s another thing, what if I give birth to a devil child?!), and – for a couple of months at least – you can pretty much take them anywhere with you – provided you carry five sets of clothing, 15 nappies and a super box of baby wipes.

But what then? What happens when I have two kids who are screaming? Two kids who are running rings around me, while I lie on the ground, pretending to sleep in the hope that they might just ignore me (she never does – this is a good excuse to get a really good look at mumma’s face and poke and prod and pull her body).

These fears are real. Tonight hubby and I talked about the prospect of another. We looked at each other warily. We sighed. We sighed again. There was almost this unspoken, “we should, but we can’t be bothered”.

What’s the outcome, you ask? I’m not sure. I love being a mumma. I love my little girl. I even love those challenging parenting moments (with lots and lots of hindsight of course). But can I do it again? I know plenty who have. Plenty who make it look easy. Plenty who have the energy to run around with two crazy tots.

If only someone could promise me an angelic child, it might just make all the difference!

Next: When my daughter said, “girls can’t do that!”

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