Dear my growing baby girl,
My, you’re getting big! I now often need help to get my slippers on, and getting up off the floor is quite challenging, but still do-able with a bit of a struggle. It’s funny though, I sometimes forget how pregnant I am. This morning, for instance, I jumped up to grab something at the back of my wardrobe. The sensation was terrible! And I couldn’t even jump to the height I used to be able to. It was a mistake to do it, but it didn’t even occur to me that perhaps I might not be as agile as I was eight months ago.
How it all began: Peeing on a stick
I’m still doing well though. As far as the overall pregnancy experience goes, the last month has been the best. Yes, I’m tired, yes, my back hurts, yes, sometimes I’m awake half the night with Braxton Hicks contractions and a hot water bottle on my back, but anything is better than the morning sickness of the first six months or so, and the “downer” that was the first month of grappling with the diabetes diagnosis.
I’ve found balancing the diabetes diet a little more difficult as we progress, but most of the time when I’m over it’s because I’ve been naughty. There’s no predicting it though, missy. Today for lunch I had a sandwich, and bread has been a big no-no, but when I did the test it was well below the risk factor. So, I don’t know at this stage. Maybe you’ll come out a chunky diabetes baby, maybe you’ll be tiny. We’ll know soon enough. I’m writing this at the very end of week 35 so really, it’s week 36. Just four and a half weeks until we get to see you – we’re a bit excited about the whole thing.
Your nursery is done, your clothes are washed, the hospital bag is partially packed, excluding my things. Your room is ready, complete with wall art. We really are ready now. It’s very exciting. I can’t wait to find out what kind of person you’ll be. Will you be relaxed like your father? Will you be highly strung like your Mum? Hopefully you’re a combination of both, because sometimes you need to be both. All I know is we will do our best to give you a good start in life, and to make you the best person you can be.
In the meantime, I will continue to carry you around, push my belly out on trams, and get indignant when people don’t give me the concessions afforded to a pregnant woman. Did I tell you that I have started deliberately targeting people who avoid my eye on the tram, and asking them for seats? It’s a fun game I play, and it makes me feel less guilty about asking for a seat (though your father says I shouldn’t feel guilty at all, in fact I should demand one, rather than say please!). It’s funny, the people I find myself shaming the most are women – you would think we’d be more sympathetic. I can tell you I’ll go out of my way to help pregnant women after this. You just don’t realise how hard it is until you go through it yourself. The last month has been the hardest physically. One day you wake up, and you find that you need to roll to get out of bed, and you need to hold onto something as you get up to avoid toppling over. It’s all about the distribution of weight I guess. Perhaps larger people don’t experience it so much, but with the rest of my body shrinking while my belly grows, my centre of gravity is not what it once was. But in a few weeks, everything will change!
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