Dear baby,

Sixteen weeks little one! You know, that means you can hear us now. Your Dad is making a playlist for you. We’re going to stick headphones on my belly so you can listen to some tunes. I think your Dad hopes it will make you bright. He might also fear that if he doesn’t get onto it now, you’ll be like your mother and not be into music at all. Or worse, become a classical musician – though Mozart did make the cut, so who knows? While your Dad is in charge of your early music, it is I who will be the one to teach you to play when the time comes.

Today was an awful day for me. And not because I’m pregnant, just because I had a rather awful day at work. Everything that could go wrong did, I got a bollocking for something that wasn’t really my fault. I cried alone at my desk. I never cry at work. I think I cried because of hormones. Fortunately, nobody saw me but it’s still humiliating. Baby, I’m not going to lie to you, there will be days like this. If there’s but one a month you have little to complain about. I have little to complain about. But one piece of advice I can give you is don’t expect perfection. Not being perfect is perfectly OK. Life is going to present you with challenges, life is going to have hard days, but the important part is coming home and realising what really matters. I know for much of our story I have told you how important my career is to me. But it will never be as important as you, or as your Dad is, or your Gran, Grandma, or anyone else who makes life a little bit brighter.

Again, the tears flow. I can only assume that with week 16 comes a new batch of hormones. I had a lovely temper tantrum this week. I had uncontrollable rage – in hindsight it was quite amusing, but it was a gigantic red fog at the time. The bin bared the brunt of my rage as I kicked it across the room for its inability to close properly. Today it’s tears. I made the mistake of getting a gooey movie and cried through half of it. Oh, what a mother you have!

But what I say is true. Don’t expect every day to be perfect, appreciate the little things, and have the foresight to recognise when things aren’t ideal, and ride them out – don’t let them consume you. Sometimes it’s hard to take a step back, but just trying will get you a long way, little one.

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Next: The pregnancy – Week 17

How it all began: Peeing on a stick

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