Dear baby,

What an eventful week! At this minute my main concern is the fact that the theatre performance I was going to tonight was cancelled. I’m very disappointed, especially when you consider it’s the last performance in my subscription before you’re born. But … what are you going to do? It’ll be fun when I go in two weeks instead and climb up and down the stairs, and try and push my eight-month pregnant belly through rows and rows of people.

How it all began: Peeing on a stick

That, however, is not what made this week so eventful. On Tuesday I had my doctor’s appointment, which involved my regular checkup, along with a second appointment with the endocrinologist. After waiting about two hours for an appointment (again … honestly, it’s terrible!) I finally saw the doctor. A bit of backstory: The whole of Monday I felt awful at work. I had started feeling nauseous again, I was exhausted, and I was having pain on and off. It was so bad at one point on Monday night that I was on the ground on all fours and couldn’t even contemplate getting up. It was a combination of Braxton Hicks (which I’m used to) and what felt like period pain. It was awful. Anyway, I had it all night Monday night, did not sleep well, and therefore felt it was in my best interest to mention it to the doctor the next day.

Well, it turns out I had one of the cautious doctors. Honestly, I wasn’t worried. I expected them to say it was my ligaments stretching, that it was normal. Instead, they sent me up to the hospital, where I lay strapped to a machine for nearly an hour to check your heartbeat, and to watch my “contractions”. Nothing. Just the usual Braxton Hicks. Then, I had a test in my cervix. I remarked how delighted I was I had made it this far in the pregnancy without an internal exam of sorts. You have to be in good humour when someone is shoving a giant cotton bud up your vagina, it’s the only thing that gets you through. Anyway, after all that, nothing. You’re not making an early appearance. I wasn’t worried, but I am relieved to know that you’re at least a fortnight away. Though I keep saying I’d be happy for you to come now, I want you to come ready to breathe, to poop, to eat, to smile. I’d hate for you to come early and not be fully developed, for you to start your life in a humidity crib. All I want is what’s best for my little girl. Still, my money is on you coming early.

I feel that it’s my responsibility to keep you apprised of all the lovely things that come with pregnancy. Have I mentioned that you get bladder weakness? I had found my bladder control was getting better with me doing more pelvic flaws, and strengthening my muscles in that area. This week, that has all disappeared. And a rather violent sneezing fit in Coles today led me to wet myself, that’s right, your Mum tinkled in her jeans (which, I hadn’t been washing so they would still fit me to the end of the pregnancy – there goes that!) in the middle of the pasta aisle at Coles. It wasn’t extreme, but it was enough to get me walking weirdly. It’s so humiliating! Fortunately, your Dad chooses to find it amusing rather than gross (I love him for that), but it’s not the most wonderful thing in the world. So, should you ever find yourself knocked up, clench, clench and clench – don’t let it get to the point where you’re looking at the incontinence pants and longingly wishing you were wearing a pair at that moment!

Next: The pregnancy – Week 34

Previous: The pregnancy – Week 32

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